


(Home)wrecked

by jb_slasher



Category: Football RPF, Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Community: 7_deadly_sins_, Leverkusen, Liverpool, Lotus, M/M, Multi, Seven Deadly Sins, envy - Freeform, real madrid - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 21:31:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jb_slasher/pseuds/jb_slasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Envy is a thing anyone can possess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Home)wrecked

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the 7 Deadly Sins challenge. Part 5: Envy.

When Kimi wins another ten points (amounting to a total of sixteen points after two races) after what can only be called a goddamn nightmare of a race, Sami is in Madrid, no doubt entertaining Boy Wonder after a night on the town. A night which no doubt consists of something that can only be called a sweaty one-on-one because Kimi doesn't need that shit in his head right now. He's done good, he's done _well_ , and he can be damn well pleased that he's managed to accomplish that. Sami is not here but Kimi doesn't care. Well, Kimi _shouldn't_ care. He tells himself he doesn't but there's no one harder to convince than himself when it comes to Sami.

Kimi knows they are not exclusive. He knows what the situation is. Yet, Kimi can't help but wonder. What does he lack that Alonso has? It's not the mileage; he's only two years older than Boy Wonder. So they were in the same team for years and maybe they grew close, who the fuck knows? Sami has been known to visit race tracks mid-season when he's had the time. (Kimi would know; there are scars on him only Sami will ever know what or who caused them.)

Kimi has three weeks before China is finally at hand. He's busy with the car, with lap times, slamming the gas pedal to the floor, busy not holding an ounce of his self-confidence back. The car feels smooth, the very definition of aerodynamic, and he's fast, faster than anyone this season. But when he finally steers the Lotus back to the team after the final practice session, his stomach drops as he recognizes the tall, blond man talking to Grosjean. But he's not wet behind the ears anymore.

They've been dancing around each other for years, only recently having crossed the line of not just being friends anymore. Knowing Xabi will always be there doesn't make it easy. Kimi doesn't need the baggage that comes with Sami but he can't get enough of the gentle giant who towers over him. He understands why Xabi will always be there: because, for Xabi, it's Sami who will always be there. All three have their own separate lives to lead but he understands the only way it could ever work, the only way it _works_. Kimi will never really be a part of what they have. He will always be on the sidelines, knowing he's missing something that the two share.

Yet Sami comes to him, and Kimi can't _not_ take comfort in what Sami offers. Kimi knows the safety, the warmth of Sami's embrace, and he _understands_. Xabi could never say _no_ to this, and neither could Kimi. He's older, knows he should know better than to indulge in this thing that they've got going on. But he can't say _no_ because this might be the last something he will ever have. He would be a fool to turn away.

 

He knows. He has always known.

After he left home... By _home_ , he means Liverpool because home is where the heart is and he left his heart in Liverpool, even though he loves Sami and Sami left for Germany and Xabi went back to where the language was his heart's blood and his body knew the day's routine the same as it knew how to breathe without his conscious effort. His heart broke when Sami finally announced he was leaving. The time came, and Xabi couldn't breathe anymore. He still loved Anfield, the grass of Melwood, the streets of Liverpool, the house that housed so many secret memories that there was no air left to breathe among them. The time came, and Xabi left, his broken heart still in pieces for what once was and could never be the same again.

He knows. He has always known.

They have their own lives now, and there is no reason why Sami should still stay in touch. But he does, and Xabi can't say _no_. He sees the news items of Sami visiting the race track, sees the pictures of Sami touching, caressing the body of the Lotus, and he _knows_. It's absurd to draw any conclusions from these things but he sees the shorter man with the bright smile. Maybe he's seen a few too many movies, watched too much TV, seen too many music videos but he can't help feeling like he knows the look in those piercing blue eyes.

He knows.

He has always known.

A month later, he's in Montmeló with the Ferrari team, another Alonso blathering on about how great Ferrari is and how this year they're bound to win the Championship and he should have brought Mikel with him because Xabi is only interested in one thing. He makes a point of stopping to admire the HRT Cosworth, exchanging a brief word with Clos before he moves on to Team Williams. Bottas is a true Finn, shy and not one for small talk but Xabi wishes him luck and moves on. He speaks to Buemi, Petrov, Kovalainen, and the little voice in the back of his mind keeps asking him why not any of them, why not any of the others.

Why Kimi?

Finally, he reaches Team Lotus. He circles the car, thinking he could somehow damage it, no race for dear Kimi today. He kneels down to check how low the seat actually is, how little space there is between ground and chassis. He touches the dark edges, feels how hot the car is after sitting for hours under the Catalan sun.

He thinks about driving the Lotus head on into a wall.

A hand lands on his shoulder, fingers tapping against collar bone. Xabi turns to look, his fingertips still touching the aluminum surface, hot enough to blister the skin.

"Checking out the competition?"

Xabi stands up, turns to face Kimi. He smiles, mostly because he's surprised that Kimi is shorter than him. Sami towers over just about everyone so the thought never crossed Xabi's mind. Kind of adorable, really.

"Something like that."

Kimi fixes his ice-blue wolf stare on him. Add a wry grin, and Xabi takes on that challenge.

 

That evening Sami turns up at the hotel thirty kilometers from Barcelona after struggling with a Spanish narrator on the GPS and driving around town for an hour before finally finding his destination. He feels he deserves something for this achievement.

He was not expecting _this_.

The door opens and the first thing Sami sees is Xabi lazily kissing Kimi, both obviously drunk out of their minds.

 

Two hours later, he feels he's deserved this. Listening to Xabi and Kimi compare notes about him like he's watching a bad teenage romance flick with a revenge theme, starring all three of them, is nothing short of embarrassing.

Specially as they're making these observations while he's lying naked between them, completely at their mercies. If only he had the stamina these two still possess.


End file.
